ZAY Blog

A couple of years ago, when I was in the airport, about to leave Singapore for my month-long vacation in China and then leave for Canada, I sent an email to a friend of mine, telling her: I wanted to tell you something, but wait when I come back.

I was not trying to tease her or to make her thought I was funny. In fact, when I sent her the email, I was about 5 minutes before the boarding gate was closed, and I was in the lobby that is about 2 minutes of walking away from the boarding gate.

Then I went to China, with no Internet access whatsoever and had a rather peaceful vacation.

When I finally got to Canada and checked my email box, I saw a message from that friend of mine: Don’t keep me in suspense. That is the cruelest thing you can do to someone.

I apologized, not knowing exactly why I received such harsh comments from her. After all, I did have the plan to tell her something, but I was just out of time and afterwards, out of Internet!

I guess our almighty Lord finally gave me an answer. He put me through a similar trial.

This time, I was the one who was told: I want to tell you something, but wait when I come back.

And now, I know what kind of jerk I was at that time.

I am not that much of a religious person to be very honest, nor I am someone who usually believes in retributions. I do things that I deem are necessary and never look back after I’ve done them, for most of the time.

But I guess I was just lucky enough not to be hurt that much by the bad things I’ve committed.

And sometimes, while I thought someone else was the unreasonable one, I turned out to be the bad guy.

I am not sure that friend of mine still reads my blog as we’ve been out of touch for a while, but if she does:

I am sorry for being such an idiot.

At the beginning of every single term, one thing that I will definitely do is to make a trip to the office of the campus newspaper and ask for a refund.

Not that I am short of the 3.50 dollars, and not that I think it is nice to chat with the cold-faced person who treated me no better than some rats, but I still make the trip every term.

And the reason is because in my opinion, the campus newspaper simply has a couple of students looking for a good reference but who are actually too lazy to understand about this world.

Therefore, it is not surprising that in one of the recent editions of the campus newspaper, someone threw strong support behind Stephen Harper, who claimed that:

“(Canadians) don’t want us to sell that out to the almighty dollar.”

And the article simply went on and on about the presumed torturing of people who disagreed with the Chinese government, and the presumed abuse of people who wants to topple CCP.

First, I have to say that I am ashamed. As a Chinese, I am ashamed to see that some of the people in my country, for some very selfish reasons, to make insulting remarks about the Chinese government.

If you can read Chinese, and if you happened to go to one of the more prominent Internet forums in the Chinese communities in North America, you would inevitably find tonnes of posts asking how would it is possible to apply for refugee status in Canada or US.

And if you start to think that those people are a group of persecuted victims by the communist regimes, nothing could be more wrong than that.

In fact, they are a group of people who are either not talented enough, or not hardworking enough to earn a decent job in Canada or US and to fulfill the criteria to immigrate to these two countries, or who are just simply too lazy to go through the regular route of immigration.

These people are not wanted and welcomed in China, but Canada tend to take them with high regards, because it is simply another opportunity to stir the sentiment of the presumed Chinese human rights record.

When I was walking to my work everyday last summer in downtown Toronto, I actually saw some ladies in their 60s, who did not speak English properly, trying really hard to give the anti-China newspaper to the passers-by. Remind you, those people who are exactly brought up by the Chinese government, the government did not mistreat them, and the government was actually kind enough to let them see the world, and they are holding newspapers that is attacking the very government that helped them to survive for 50 or 60 years in their life, unharmed and safe.

And then it was the Celil case, who is no more than another loser trying to topple the Chinese government after acquired a Canadian citizenship through the generous refugee program.

I do believe the organization that he was involved in: East Turkestan Liberation Organization (ETLO), the East Turkestan Islamic Movement (ETIM), the World Uyghur Youth Congress (WUYC) and the East Turkestan Information Centre (ETIC), are declared as terrorists. And almost every single Chinese, regardless of the Han Chinese or the Uyghur Chinese, agrees that they are the terrorist from any perspective. They explode bombs in buses, and are well-armed to fight against the People’s Liberation Army and to kill the soldiers of the government. And I am not simply hear this from the government newspapers or TV stations.

To my fellow Canadian friends, does that remind you of the Quebec sovereignty movement in the 70s? How did the almighty Canadians treat them?

Oh, by the way, did I mention that during the so-called Tiananmen Square massacre, all students leaders eventually received their US citizenship and become professional authors to anti-Chinese publications? Did I mention that those students leaders were spotted eating in a small restaurant, which was considered as a luxury in 1989, while their fellow schoolmates are starving?

And these are the people that the Canadian and US government are offering sympathy to.

Please, if you do not know anything about the Chinese government and the Chinese history, and just want to hide in your campus newspaper office to earn some positive remarks, write anything you want, but don’t insult my country.

By the way, I am by no means affiliated with the CPP, and I’ve been exposed to western media since I was 13. I do not think everything with the CPP is perfect, and I think I’ve been discussing this issue with many people, but yet, in my entire life, I have not suffered from any so-called persecution that the western media has portrayed.

It has been like a week since I am back to Canada, but I must say that I’ve been too lazy to write anything on the blog and keep it updated.

Well, talking about my vacation in China…what should I say? The feeling is rather mixed. The good part is of course, I was able to see some of my friends, and family, some of them that I’ve not met for like almost 10 years. My parents had more white hairs than I last saw them 3 years ago, but nothing else has changed a lot with them.

It was pretty sad to see my grandpa though, who used to be such a healthy person and was traveling all over the city who is now lying on the bed, unable to move since he broke his leg 3 months ago. Grandma has lost considerable amount of weight too to take care of her husband, that was really not easy for her. It almost made me drove me nuts when I realize how difficult it was for them and how little I can do to at least help them a little.

Then it was friends, well, first, I was the only one who is still single among the group of friends I met, guess there are way more girls in Hefei, where I lived for the first 13 years of my life, than Waterloo. I even met the first girl I’ve ever dated with, she is now having a good job and a good boyfriend, I really wish them the best!

(The article above was typed when school first started, somehow, I never managed to finish up it, and if not because I reconfigured my Windows Live Writer today, I decided to put it up as the way it is, since it is just impossible for me to write it again from the feelings that I had months back)