ZAY Blog

我们有缘相识，却没有缘分在一起，于是，我选择了忘记。

忘记，让我不再痛苦

忘记，让我不再活在回忆的世界里

忘记，让我重新站起来，继续我的责任

也许，在很久以后的某一天，我们还会擦肩而过

而或许那时，我们的心会跳快一秒

有的，只是模糊的回忆

自从前晚和Claire学姐讨论了一些文学内容之后，发了一天的文学骚，然后又结合了村上春树的“四月一个晴朗的早晨，遇见一个百分之百的女孩”（可是学姐要我看的第一篇文章哦），憋了这么一片小文章出来，不知道可不可以入学姐的法眼？

顺便在加一篇学姐说的词，惭愧我才疏学浅，竟然连辛弃疾的词也不知道，不过还是和大家分享一下吧：

丑奴儿①
书博山道中壁②
【宋】辛弃疾
少年不识愁滋味，
爱上层楼。
爱上层楼，
为赋新词强说愁。③
而今识尽愁滋味，
欲说还休。④
欲说还休，
却道新凉好个秋。
【注释】
①又名《采桑子》，四十四字，平韵。

②博山在今江西广丰县西南。因状如庐山香炉峰，故名。淳熙八年（1181）辛弃疾罢职退居上饶，常过博山。
③强说愁：无愁而勉强说愁。

④李清照《凤凰台上忆吹箫》：“多少事，欲说还休。”
【品评】
这首词以“少年”与“而今”对比，表达了一种深刻的人生感受。上片说少年时登高望远，气壮如山，不识愁为何物。无愁说愁，是诗词中常见的文人 习气。下片转入“而今”，转折有力，不仅显示时间跨度，而且反映了不同的 人生经历。在涉世既深又饱经忧患之余，进入“识尽愁滋味”的阶段。所谓 “识尽”，一是愁多，二是愁深。这些多而且深的愁，有的不能说，有的不便 说，而且“识尽”而说不尽， 说之亦复何益？ 只能“却道新凉好个秋”了。 比之少时的幼稚，这或许是老练成熟多了。其实“却道”也是一种“强说”。故意说得轻松洒脱，实际上也是难以摆脱心头的沉重抑塞。周济说辛词“变温婉，成悲凉”。读此词者，当能辨之。

Well, not quite, there is still hope that the senate would bring it back to live some times later this week.

However, the collapse of Wachovia, the bank that could be saved if the loan programs have approved earlier, as well as the plunge of the major index around the world, clearly indicated that this is an issue that can not be waited…

How long will the politicians in Parliament Hill figure out that Americans do need to save Wall Street?

I am not saying the traders in Wall Street have done the right thing to use the money that they are not prepared to pay back, however, what is right and what is wrong no longer matters, because Wall Street is not only a financial hub of the world, it is, more importantly, the dominant factor of the US economy. If Wall Street fails, every ordinary American citizens would be affected, not just the traders or the investment bank executives.

Sometimes, I am wondering if democracy is really a great idea in time of crisis, because it is difficult to explain to every single individual (or even the majority) of the impact of certain things, not because general public are ignorant by any means, but rather we are specialize in different things.

For example, it is difficult to convince a farmer whose sole interest is to be able to sell the cattle he has raised that 2000 dollars from his tax money has to be given to the financial market.

He is probably really good with raising cattle, far better than the investment bankers could do, but that does not mean he could be educated enough to see the entire economy.

On the other hand, we can see that in the current milk-poisoning crisis, the Chinese government is spending taxpayers money to compensate the lose of the diary farmers.

This may be a somewhat authoritarian in the eyes of Americans, since every single Chinese citizen (or those who pay tax to the Chinese government at least) is basically paying for something that they have nothing to do with.

However, in this case, by ensuring the survival of the Chinese diary farmers, China has shown to the world that it is acting more responsibly, as well as more maturely, in time of crisis.

Which is very different from the irresponsible manner that the congressmen and congresswomen is showing ahead of the elections.

I was really thrilled to hear that the senate has finally approved the package to save the financial world.

I am not sure how much the collapse of Washington Mutual would have made those senators feel that they finally need to do some work rather than arguing all over the place to maximize their political profit, but the fact that the agreement was reached on Saturday midnight is really an assuring fact to know.

However, what we have seen so far is a really disappointing picture in the Asian market, with the financial stocks continue to decline.

Why is that so?

Because people no longer have any confidence in the US economy.

Sadly speaking, the financial market in US would not stop to deteriorate just  because of the 700 billion. In fact, some analysts claimed that the market needs as much as 5 trillion dollars in order to go through the current mess without getting hurt too much. Unfortunately, the fact that the rest of the world is reluctant in joining the US in saving the financial market means that it is very unlikely the government will be able to raise the fund.

On the other hand, even within the US government, as election approaches, no one seems to have that much interest in asking each US citizen to pay more than 2000 dollars to save the mistakes made by the Wall Street traders. Instead, they have promised tax reduction, which would means that the government would not be able to provide too much to save Wall Street.

However, what should we expect when the market opens tomorrow morning?

First, I think Wachovia is saved for now, after being treated as the next victim after Washington Mutual, therefore, we should see some good news for WB to bring the highly undervalued stock back a little.

Second news should be from the currency market, where we should see some advance in the US dollars as people are now confident that the wound would not be as large. On the other hand, the LIBOR and treasury should be a little lower as the financial institutions (even those non-US companies with large business presence in US) find themselves a little easier to borrow money to solve their liquidity headaches.

Let’s hope that this 700 billion dollars would really be able to give the investors some confidence, because…well, hope is all we have.

几天没日没夜的狂看之后终于看完了宛妃转。

后宫三千粉黛，可是皇上却只有一个，当一个男人的心需要分成了几十份以后，这份心还可以谓之爱情么？

而对于那些妃子来说，一道砖墙阻挡了她们本可以拥有的爱情和完整的人生，也让她们背负了整个家族的希望。对于她们的家人来说，妃子受宠则全家鸡犬皆升，反之亦然。

于是乎，君不见这十几岁的小女子们各个在后宫中斗个你死我活，甚至于牺牲了自己的友情和良心也在所不惜。

可是从另外一个角度来说，我还是很同情顺治帝的，虽然贵为一国之君，他却连选择自己所爱的人都没有。他的皇后不是他喜欢的人，而是因为皇后是太后的孙侄女。他宠信贞妃，而贞妃却不断的出卖和陷害其他的妃子。当他宠信董鄂氏的时候，董鄂氏却连自己的孩子也无法保全。

而朝廷的尔虞我诈却无法让这个少年天子信任任何人，他很没有安全感，很害怕周围任何一个人对他的好，即使在接受任何一个人的感情的时候都是带着怀疑。

于是，他错过了一段又一段属于他的爱情，最后到了去五台山出家的境地。

爱情对于这些人来说都是不幸的，他们总是在错误的时间遇到了一些人，这些人可能是正确的，也可能是错误的，但是那个时间决定了他们的命运，决定了他们他们一生都不可能平凡的度过。

普通人看到的只是他们享受自己所有的权利的时间，却不知道他们为了这些权利付出了多少眼泪和心酸。甚至于把自己的人性进行扭曲也在所不惜。

推荐大家看一下：

http://www.9186.net/files/article/html/0/734/

阿桑的歌曲不多，可是我喜欢的却不少。

觉得她的歌似乎总是一个个的悲剧，而她那有些失落的声音让她似乎成了那个悲剧的一部分，而不是一个旁观者。

受了点伤早以不是新曲，可是却让人百听不厌。

这个城市太会说谎 爱情只是昂贵的橱窗

似乎我们偶尔可以遇到真心的感情，偶尔可以遇到真心的人，可是在这个尔虞我诈的社会中，我们已经丧失了分辨真爱和利用的区别。于是真心的付出被当成了浪费，而久而久之，心也就冷下来。

死心 失望 会比较简单 却又心有不甘

爱情的路上确实有很多的转角，可是同样也有很多的死胡同，而我们似乎经常犯的一个错误就是把转角当成了死角，可是真正走到死角的时候却又于心不甘。可是，上帝给我们安排的就是死角，这个角没有办法转变，更没有办法退回重来，而愚蠢的我们却不愿意放弃。

以为能够留你在身旁 但是谁肯留在谁身旁

拥有的却没有珍惜，失去了却又总想得到。当你心甘情愿的为他/她付出的时候，他/她没有准备好接受你的感情。而当他/她准备好了的时候，这份感情或许已经不在了。

我很知道孤单这条路怎么走 请你不要安慰我

或许寂寞真的很难受，一个人走人生的路也不平坦，可是有的事情，过去的就是过去了，寂寞的人生也要继续，所受的苦也要自己承担。或许有时错不再你，可是两个人形同陌路的时候，这份痛苦双方都得承担一些。

My love,晚安 别放在心上

洒脱其实是一种无奈，而忘记似乎是治疗这种无奈的最好方式。晚安，意味着旧的一切就结束了，明天早上醒来，新的一天会不会好一些呢？

我们都不知道，我们都期待着。。。。

受了点伤

My love,晚安 就别再为难 别管我会受伤
想开 体谅 我已经习惯 不然又能怎样？
这个城市太会说谎 爱情只是昂贵的橱窗
沿路华丽灿烂 陈列甜美幻象 谁当真谁就上当
竟然以为你会不一样 但凭什么你要不一样
因为寂寞太冷 虚构出的温暖 没理由能撑到天亮
前进 转弯 我跌跌撞撞 在这迷宫打转
死心 失望 会比较简单 却又心有不甘
这个城市太会伪装 爱情就像霓虹灯一样
谁离开之后 却把灯忘了关 让梦做得太辉煌
以为能够留你在身旁 但是谁肯留在谁身旁
一首情歌都比一个亲吻更长 这就叫做好聚好散
别说你对我感到愧疚 别说你会永远想念我
我很知道孤单这条路怎么走 请你不要安慰我
My love,晚安 别放在心上
我只受了点伤 只是受了点伤

这几天被人狂骂。。。

不是被老板，也不是被同学。。。

一个老姐，一个老妹，还有一个人。。。

每个人骂我都是为了我好，至少我相信自己的老姐和老妹是绝对为我好的。。。

痛恨自己的软弱，痛恨自己做事不够潇洒

更痛恨自己永远不能在正确的时候作出正确的选择。。。

真的以为这么多年过去，我不管怎么样也应该稍微成熟一点了吧。。。

可是真的，发现22岁的我和18岁的我还就没什么区别

自己不可以堕落，不可以偷懒

还有父母的期盼，家人的祝福。。。。

我要加油，要让自己做到最好

不知道自己可以走多远，可是我必须要相信，路，只有靠自己走的。。。

跌倒了只是为了下次走路的时候绕开坑，疼了也只能说明自己有了一个学习的机会。。。

谢谢每个在我生命中出现的人和事，记得曾经某人和我说过嘛，

故天将降大任于是人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空乏其身，行拂乱其所为，所以动心忍性，曾益其所不能。

或许，现在的痛苦可以换回以后的享受吧。。。。

最近发现自己变懒了，也变的没那么上进了，警告自己一下，不可以哦。

Mmm。。。发泄完了。

The past week is definitely one of the most turbulent times (if not the most) in the financial world since September 11, 2001. With Lehman lawyers rushed to file for bankruptcy and Merill Lynch acquired by Bank of America, as well as the possible failure of AIG, people can not stop wondering what is going on.

However, we did see some hope today when Barclays agreed to buy the North America operations of Lehman, which prevent up to 10000 people from losing their jobs and it seems that Feds has provided emergency loan to AIG so that it is unlikely to be in the same fate as Lehman.

Of course, it does not mean Lehman is far from bankruptcy. In fact, we should hear an official end of Lehman pretty soon since the talks with commercial banks have failed. On the other hand, the 85 billion loan from Feds comes with the condition that AIG has to shed up to 80% of its assets in the next couple of years, which essentially kills the entire firm.

The next question that comes naturally is: what will happen?

Now that Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs are the sole survivors of the bloodshed, and Goldman posted a 70% fall in quarterly earnings, it is difficult to imagine those two firms would be able to live long on their own feet. However, the CFO of Goldman has blatantly rejected any thoughts of a merger with the commercial banks, claiming Goldman “can not be funded by deposits”.

What could possibly happen then, is a merger between the investment banks themselves. However, this option is very likely to have regulatory difficulties.

Another alternative is to split themselves to have the “good” banks and the “bad” banks so that the “bad” banks will have sufficient time to wind down the business without causing too much disruption in the market while the “good” banks would continue to be able to sustain a good credit rating and attract the much-needed capital from investors.

On the other hand, in the insurance market, we are very likely going to see a period of adjustment to the entire industry, particularly with the insurance on financial products. New players will involve in the insurance market as insurance companies strive to look for new cash-generating products.

In a short term, of course, it is inevitable that the job markets in finance and related industries will not be that bright. Wall Street alone has lost 40000 jobs this year and they are very likely to fill up the very few new openings in the industry.

We have to see that it is necessary for period of adjustment and the sooner it happens, the better. Subprime mortgage itself was a huge loophole in the first place, just that it was too attractive for the investors to close the hole in the past several years.

In Buddhism, it was said: there is always a time when good deeds will be rewarded and bad deeds would be punished, the only question is when.

I guess now it is the time the boys in Wall Street are punished for what they’ve done.

China got the silver…lost by 4 points to the Australian.

And it was only 4 points away, on the last dive….

Gosh, he was so close….

又是一个等待的夜晚，又是一次失落。。。

或许我在半年前做了那个决定的时候就应该知道后果。。。

我其实是知道的吧，我想。可是心里面总是有着一丝的侥幸。

如果。。。如果。。。。

只是，感情这件事情上面永远没有如果。

很多年前，我的冲动造成了一些不可弥补的伤害。

后来，我以为自己长大了，以为自己成熟了，以为自己不会再冲动了。

可是似乎自己有一次冲动了。

冲动到让周围的每个人都失望，让我自己也对自己失望。

然后现在就是承担后果的时候。

记得很久以前，一个朋友曾经对我说过：

“其实谁没了谁不能活呢？”

原来，一直是我弄错了，一直是我把自己看得太重要了。

只能说，希望没有我的时候，请好好照顾自己，请让自己天天开心，让自己幸福。

Why?

Was I actually as busy as I thought?

Or I just pretend that I was busy so that I would not be held accountable for the silly things I’ve done?

I could not answer those questions, nor I could explain what I’ve done for the past couple of weeks.

Sometimes I criticize a lot about what others have been doing, without knowing that I actually did the same.

Worst of all, sometimes I was a victim of certain incidents, and I, without any particular thought of revenge, chose to have others to be in the same position as I was once in.

Was I really a villain? A charlatan?

Forgive me, because I really meant no harm.

I could use the excuse to say that I am a Cancer, who is notoriously famous for being sensitive and having temper swings.

But I hate to use that because I would consider myself a man.

Which means, I have to be responsible for whatever that I have done, no matter what the circumstance was.

And I really hope, that if by any means I caused any harm to anyone else, I could be forgiven for what I’ve done.

And I really hope, that I could still be considered as a good person after all.

And I really hope, that more time could be spent on doing meaningful things, on doing things that needs to be done in my life, and things that are better to be done earlier than later.

And I hope, that all those three hopes listed above could become true.